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Soul Mate - a Pain in the Neck

 by: Nisandeh Neta

“and they lived happily ever after…

That is how our favorite childhood fairytales have always ended.

That is how the romantic movies from Hollywood always end.

And that is what the media agencies advertisements promise will happen if we’ll purchase the right toothpaste, car, T-shirt or life insurance policy.

In short, “”…and they lived happily ever after…”" is what we have been conditioned to believe our intimate relationship should look like.

WAKE UP FOLKS!

I hate to tell you this, but… GROW UP!

We were conditioned to believe that life was going to be a bed of roses… a piece of cake… a walk in the park.

Of course, what ‘they’ forgot to mention when we were kids, was that roses have thorns, cakes contain calories, and a walk in the park significantly increases your odds of stepping in dog’s you know what…

One of the major myths we were led to believe in, since the 12th century, is the myth of romantic love.

A myth that nowadays has its new-age label - the well-known ‘Soul Mate’.

Romantic love is probably the most popular path to personal satisfaction and self-esteem in the western world.

In our modern culture, we replaced religion with romantic love as the means by which we seek ecstasy, meaning and wholeness.

Romantic love does not only mean ‘loving someone’, it also means ‘being in love’.

When we are in love we believe we have found the ultimate meaning of life, as revealed in another human being - our Soul Mate.

We feel ‘instantaneous completeness’ and believe that the so-called missing piece to our life and to ourselves, has finally been found.

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Life suddenly seems to have a wholeness, meaning, direction and purpose.

There is this intensity, which lifts us high above our usual perception of reality.

For most people, these exciting feelings are assumed to be the definite signs of the ultimate lover.

Unconsciously, we immediately create a demand that our lover always provide us with this feeling of ecstasy and intensity.

Despite that ecstasy, within a few weeks (or months) we usually encounter feelings of loneliness, alienation and frustration over our inability to create intimate, loving and committed relationship.

Usually we blame our lover for failing us.

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What seldom occurs to us is that, it is we who need to transform our own unconscious beliefs, expectations and demands, which we impose upon our lover.

Once aware of it, we realize that this relationship brings unhealed emotional ’stuff’ into our conscious mind.

Only from this perspective, can we assume our responsibility for the situation and begin to deal with what comes to the surface.

From this point of recognition, we can then begin to heal ourselves.

I am convinced that we join in relationship with another person with the purpose of supporting each other’s personal-growth process.

In order to support us on our path we need this private trainer or coach to walk with us.

Imagine one of those famous football or basketball trainers, as your personal coach, 24 hours a day, all year round…

I can see your horrified expression from here…

Well, this personal coach is your Soul Mate.

… not exactly what you had in mind when you saw that gorgeous someone at a party…

The role of your Soul Mate is to confront you when you’re losing your integrity, to kick your ass when you’re getting lazy, push your buttons until you gain clarity of your destructive patterns, and so on…

If you and your partner had both attained enlightenment, you probably wouldn’t have so much trouble.

Your partner would have all the compassion in the world, and you would have the overview to see your partner’s contribution to your life.

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And then of course, if both of you are fully enlightened, then you probably don’t need a Soul Mate…

However, assuming that both of you haven’t reached that stage of full self-realization yet, life is a bit more complicated…

As Karen Scalf Linamen suggests, the phrase “”And they lived happily ever after”" is actually a long-forgotten medieval punch line that, when translated, means, “”And, boy - ha ha! - are they in for the surprise of their lives!”"

Have fun…”

About The Author Article by: Nisandeh Neta, author of the best-seller book Jump-Start Your Life: http://www.jump-start-your-life.com When you are ready to live a life of purpose, passion, happiness, freedom, and success - download one of his free books at: http://www.inspiration2go.com info@inspiration2go.com

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Social Justice Issues

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In the Hebrew Bible, there is a clear distinction between a love relationship and a marriage arrangement. Love relationships are depicted, over all, as the blinding-revealing passion for someone who is the object of the individual s attention. For example, Yaakov s passion for Rachel (B reshith 29). King David s lustful desire for Batsheva (Sh muel Bet 11-12). Samson s love for D leelah, the dominatrix of the Hebrew Bible (Shofetim 16). Just to name a few. A marriage arrangement requires that the one s married to each other fulfill the ethical and moral legal obligations that are binding upon them under the laws prescribed within the community. Further, love between the ones married to each other is not guaranteed. Divorce is probable, and arrangements for that are legally prescribed in both the Torah and the Talmud. Marital strife is likely to occur due to differences in individual needs or unpredictable circumstances, and must be weathered through by adherence to the marital obligations. Love can flourish between the married partners, and this is the “ideal” if the individuals work together through the struggles and keeping the obligations to nurture its continued existence in the marriage.

In the Hebrew Bible, all aspects dealing with the legal institution of marriage express polygamy. So, too, do all the narratives on the marriage lives of people; with what may appear to be the rare exception of a few. But, the Torah rarely, if ever, gives full disclosure on the personal lives of its legendary people. It has selective memory, and midrash of later generations have had to fill in areas not covered. If we were to stretch scripture a little, and interpret that some marriages were intentionally portrayed as monogamous, all this really shows us is two possibilities. The first, is that some men were likely to take only one wife; and/or two, that some should limit themselves to a lesser number. All aspects dealing with what can be described as a monogamous relationship within the Hebrew Bible deal with the love affair situation of a biblical patriarch and a woman (not always a Hebrew matriarch). Kept in its context, the Hebrew Bible presents the cultural marriage arrangement of its time polygamy. It even legally defines proper marriage behavior for the husband who is married to more than one wife (D’varim 21.15-17). And, in typical Hebrew teaching style, the polygamist marriage narratives teach us that relationships are a struggle between individual needs. And, that the obligations laws, commandments, rules of being legally married to each other requires that these struggles be worked out within the marriage. Great lengths of creativity within the marriages of biblical times were taken to accomplish this.

The “idea” that the Torah encourages monogamy by showing all the struggles happening in the polygamist relationships is a later midrashic interpretation of the Common Era Palestinian Jews*. [*See footnote below.] The Jews of the intertestimal times (the 700 year period between the writing of the Jewish scrolls, now known as the TaNaKH, and the writings of the Greek New Testament by the Greco-Roman Christians of the Diaspora). And, for only about a thousand years, has it been upheld through cultural law as the ideal within most Jewish communities, and more specifically the Ashkenazic community of Old Europe. The rabbis of the intertestimal period took the TaNaKH scriptures out of their context and applied new meanings to them to deal with the present problems occurring within the overran, hellenistically influenced Yisrael. The old ways and the reasons for these ways were no longer being followed enthusiastically, and new ways were needed to keep the integrity of the Hebrew teachings.

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Hence, the new law that appeared in the Damascus Document* scroll of intertestimal times that limits marriage to one husband and one wife. The Damascus scroll gives a new definition to what is considered the act of fornication. It specifically states that fornication, a sexual sin, is the taking of more than one wife in a man s lifetime. The rationale for this definition of fornication is based upon two quotes from legend narratives of the Torah. B reshith 1.27, “So G-d created humankind in his image, in the image of G-d did he create it, male and female he created them” and 7.9, “two and two (each) came to Noah, into the Ark, male and female, as G-d had commanded Noah.” Both scriptures were taken out of their context and have nothing to do with the Moshaic laws regarding marriage. And, one quote from D’varim 17.17 that speaks of the King of Yisrael, that he is not to “multiply wives for himself.” (A translation of the Damascus Document is available in The Dead Sea Scrolls, A New Translation.) [*See footnote below.]

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This latter biblical injunction does not restrict the King to one wife only, but instructs him not to create a harem for himself, so that his attention remains on his duties as King. The King is also told in this same passage of scripture not to “multiply horses for himself,” “not to return the people to Egypt in order to multiply horses,” and that “silver and gold he is not to multiply for himself to excess.” Neither of these injunctions say that the King is restricted to owning only one horse and possessing one piece of silver or gold. The D varim passage cited as validation by the first intertestimal adherents to monogamy is dealing with political-trade transactions of the King. Later tradition has ascribed B reshith 2.24 and Mishlei 31 as further justification that the ancient Jews intended for us to form monogamous marriages. Again, scripture is taken out of context to justify a fundamentalist view. With the passage of Mishlei, it is expressing the ideal wife and likens her to Shechinah, which is thefeminine image of G-d, the Hebrew G-ddess. It does not make the slightest suggestion concerning the number of wives a man is to have. To say that the Bible supports a bias towards (or against) something that it clearly does not is simply wrong to do. And, this kind of interpreting leads to injustice.

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There are four types of marital arrangements (only one that is civilly legal in America): polyandry, polygamy, monogamy, and polyamory. Polyandry is a marriage arrangement between a wife and two or more husbands. Polygamy is a marriage arrangement between a husband and two or more wives. Monogamy is a marriage arrangement between one husband and one wife. Polyamory is a marriage arrangement between two or more husbands and/or two or more wives. The Torah makes no distinction on which type of legal marriage arrangement is more preferable than the others. Instead, it only encourages that through marriage the struggles of relationship be dealt with, and that the expression of love be realized. Just as it is realized through the marital struggles between G-d and the People of Yisrael. “Now you are to love YHWH your G-d with all your heart, with all your being, with all your substance!” (D varim 6.5). We do this by faithfully fulfilling the obligations of this community marriage relationship with G-d. So it mustbe in our human marriage relationships the Torah teaches us.

Monogamy is not threatened by society allowing citizens the legal right to choose other types of marriage arrangements, and to be held accountable for these marriages. For those who idealize monogamy as the way to go, the simple bottom-line fact-of-reality is that there is only one threat to the success and survival of monogamous relationships. This real threat comes from within the homes of the couples that choose a monogamous marriage arrangement, and this threat is not keeping the vows made when getting married and not working together to mutually meet each other’s needs. The threat of infidelity is not basing the marriage on clearly defined obligations to begin with. Banning the legal right to form other types of marriage arrangements will not change this. And, it will not prevent people from forming polygamous, polyandrous, and polyamorous relationships - regardless whether they are legally sanctioned by society or not.

The issue in the Hebrew Bible is about getting married, not about what marriage form is “right.” Its focus is on fulfilling the obligations that come with marriage, whether there is love between the married partners or not. When maintained in this manner, the relationship is in kedusha, a state of holiness. And, this benefits the community, by providing a strong family-oriented foundation to build from. How can a marriage relationship whether it be polyandry, polygamy, monogamy, or polyamory be less of a struggle and more of a love relationship? The first step is to keep the marital obligations made between each other when committing the act of marriage. Verbally remember and edify the words of this marital agreement often - if possible, on a weekly basis. Sit down together and talk it over.

The next step, which is actually the very first step and must always remain the more important step throughout the marriage is understanding that love is not an object, and thus the degree of love one has for another cannot be controlled. But, we do have the power within us to control how we will relate to to each other in our relationships. And, we have the power to decide whether we will be fidelitous or not. In other words, by defining together the obligations of the marriage, by living by them throughout the marriage (being conscious of these obligations on a daily basis) and, through this marriage relationship, by elevating the emotional, sexual, and spiritual needs of our partners-in-marriage. Complete honesty between each other, recognition of the need for individual self-responsibility, and partner encouragement (not coercion) is a must. Fulfill this and this marriage, whatever its type, is a marriage maintained in kedusha/holiness, according to the teachings of the Hebrew Bible.

Footnote: Just for historical authenticity to the statements made in these * asterisked paragraphs above, the Damascus Document of the Intertestimal period is a product of a specific extremist community sect of Judaism, and is not reflective of Jewish lifestyle in that time period as a whole. In fact the majority of Jewish communities would continue to engage in polygamist marriage relationships well into the Common Era, and even within the Ashkenazic communities this was so. Monogamy was accepted and justified as the ideal by modern Jews only because of the Christian presence around these Jewish communities, meaning Jews conformed to the practices of their neighbors to avoid persecution over this issue. It is through the extremist Jewish document of the Yachad sect that defines monogamous marriages and the monogamous approach to marriages within the Greco-Roman world of the time that Christianity would come to idealize monogamy as the ideal marriage relationship style. Even the Irish, who were the first culture to embrace Christianity outside of the Greco-Roman world, continued to engage in rather promiscious relationship styles - styles that included group sexual relationships and marriages. It would not be until the arrival of the “White” people into Europe and their subsequent embracement of Christianity that monogamy would be institutionalized as the only correct form of marriage. Some estimates have it that monogamy finally took root about a good thousand years after the Damascus Document had been written. And, still today, not all societies are convinced that it really is the most moral form of forming relationships.

About the Author

Joseph Farkasdi is a fictional writer and social commentator. His online expressions range from the sharing of deeply opinionated thoughts on life, love, and relationships to the ever stirring wild and sometimes wet erotic fantasies that stretch one’s secret imaginations. His photographic works are as revealing and shameless as his willingness to share all without inhibition. You can view his web site by clicking on http://www.jfarkasdi.org/ .

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Litigation Funding

 by: Wensley McKenney

Litigation Funding offers financial resources to plaintiffs that are the victims of personal injury by the negligent acts of another. It is simple reality in the United States legal system that financial strength plays a significant role in the ultimate settlement or judgment amount of legal claims. Fortunately there are litigation funding companies like Global Financial (http://www.glofin.com) that offer funding services to Plaintiffs which can help level the playing field with deep pocketed defendants.

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Litigation Funding is offered to plaintiffs with a legitimate legal claim, however, there are no credit checks or income verifications. The funding company advances cash to the Plaintiff in return for a portion of their potential legal claim proceeds. If the legal claim is successful then the litigation funding company receives their capital back plus fees, however, if the case is lost for any reason, the plaintiff keeps the money without obligation to repay the funding company. This type of contingent advance is not a loan but rather an investment which is speculative and repayable only upon some unknown and contingent event. In fact, it is very similar to the fee that a Personal Injury attorney charges its clients.

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It is clear that large insurance carriers for defendants in personal injury cases will make low ball offers to see how desperate a plaintiff may be. They are using their financial superiority in hopes of achieving a settlement amount that is lower than the ultimate value of the plaintiffs claim. It seems to be a game of cat and mouse in which the cat represents the defendants insurance carrier and the mouse represents plaintiff. Fortunately, litigation funding companies like Global Financial (866-709-1100) can help level the playing field for personal injury victims and allow plaintiffs to receive a full and fair settlement or judgment.

It is important to note that Litigation Funding can be considered as a form of insurance against a potential loss in the legal claim. In other words, the plaintiff receives a financial guarantee that they will receive a financial recovery regardless of the outcome of the legal claim. If there is no financial recovery from the legal claim then the plaintiff will still obtain a financial recovery from the claim by keeping the cash advance received from the litigation funding company without obligation to repay any amount. If, however, the legal claim is successful, the plaintiff is only obligated to repay the cash advance they received plus fees. Regardless of the outcome, a plaintiff is guaranteed a financial recovery and that is assurance or insurance no matter how you look at it.

About The Author Wensley McKenney is a graduate of Tulane University and has 15 years experience in the financial and legal fields. His firm Emerson Capital, Inc. has raised more than $125 Million of public companies. Although this is one of the best articles, I’m bit unsure about its utility for everyone. The material is meant to cater to those individuals who were hunting for kickboxing. All were not in a position to obtain the gains from it. But, why to discontinue in midway? Traverse till the hindmost word to comment about its value. wensley@glofin.com

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Parental Involvement In Learning

 by: Brent Sitton

Whether children attend public or private schools, they benefit when parents become involved in their education. According to the National Institute for Literacy, when parents or other family members frequently read to children entering kindergarten, those children were at a distinct advantage over children whose families read to them less often.

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The Early Childhood Longitudinal Study found that “Children who were read to at least three times a week by a family member were almost twice as likely to score in the top 25 percent in reading than children who were read to less than three times a week.” The study also found that, of children who were read to at least three times a week:

* 76 percent had mastered the letter-sound relationship at the beginning of words, compared to 64 percent of children who were read to fewer than three times a week,

* 57 percent had mastered the letter-sound relationship at the end of words, compared to 43 percent who were read to fewer than three times a week,

* 15 percent had sight- word recognition skills, compared to 8 percent who were read to fewer than three times a week, and

* 5 percent could understand words in context, compared to 2 percent who were read to fewer than three times a week.

The positive impact of parental involvement in learning doesn’t end with kindergarten. Having a variety of reading materials available at home helps older children with reading proficiency. The National Assessment of Educational Progress (NAEP) found that, among students in the fourth grade, “The 68% of students who had three or more different types of reading materials at home performed at the Proficient level, while students who had two or fewer types of reading material at home performed at the Basic level. Students who had 4 types of reading material at home performed the highest.”

Similarly, students who discussed their studies and who talked about reading at home had greater reading proficiency than those who did not. And students of all ages who regularly saw parents and other family members reading at home were positively influenced.

In addition to having a variety of reading materials available at home, discussing reading, and setting a good example by reading, there are a number of ways that parents can create and nurture a home learning environment. Although the Teachers Involve Parents in Schoolwork (TIPS) program from the National Network of Partnership Schools at Johns Hopkins University is directed to teachers, it includes a number of excellent strategies that parents can implement to become active in their children’s education.

Communicate: Regularly communicate with the teacher, either via parent-teacher conferences, weekly progress reviews, or homework reviews. Talk with the child, and have them share their schoolwork and school day experiences.

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Volunteer: Volunteer to help out in the classroom or at other school activities.

Home Learning: Point out the links between schoolwork and real life situations. Go on family outings that reinforce the concepts being learned in school.

According to the National Education Association, parental involvement in learning is crucial. As evidence, they cite the following findings of research into parental involvement:

* When parents are involved in their children’s education at home, they do better in school.

* And when parents are involved in school, children go farther in school - and the schools they go to are better.

* The family makes critical contributions to student achievement from preschool through high school.

* A home environment that encourages learning is more important to student achievement than income, education level or cultural background.

* Reading achievement is more dependent on learning activities in the home than in math or science.

* Reading aloud to children is the most important activity that parents can do to increase their child’s chance of reading success. Talking to children about books and stories read to them also supports reading achievement.

* When children and parents talk regularly about school, children perform better academically.

* Three kinds of parental involvement at home are consistently associated with higher student achievement: actively organizing and monitoring a child’s time, helping with homework and discussing school matters.

* The earlier the parent involvement begins in a child’s educational process, the more powerful the effects.

* Positive results of parental involvement include improved student achievement, reduced absenteeism, improved behavior, and restored confidence among parents in their children’s schooling.

There are many ways that parents can become involved in their children’s education - the important thing is to become and stay involved!

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About The Author Brent Sitton is the founder of http://www.DiscoveryJourney.com, which has Home Learning tools for parents. Children’s Book Reviews include character trait examples and learning activities. http://www.discoveryjourney.com/homelearning.htm - http://www.discoveryjourney.com/bookchild.htm

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Keeping Busy: AGU Student Rebuilds Countries By Day

 by: Nicole Lehner

You may remember the old television commercials for the Army, the ones that claimed, We do more before breakfast than most people do all day. In the case of Wanda Cross, that s probably true. Cross, a contract specialist with the U.S. Army Space Missile Defense Command (SMDC), is not only serving her country in the Middle East, she s also a full-time student at American Graduate University.

How does she manage it? With AGU s flexible, student-centered and cost-effective distance learning programs, earning a degree is an attainable goal for anyone, even those with the most demanding schedules.

Currently stationed in Kuwait, Cross is earning a Master s Certificate in Acquisition and Contracting. She admits that it s a challenge juggling both career and school, especially in a foreign country.

I am required to manage a number of priorities at once and my schooling is one of them. It s easier because AGU s program provides me the time I need to complete course assignments, on the go, overseas or anywhere in the world. I have the flexibility to earn my degree and still be successful in my career.

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She began her studies at AGU in October of 2003, while still stationed in Huntsville, AL. Cross was deployed to Iraq in 2004, where she completed a nine-month detail assignment with the Coalition Provisional Authority, helping to rebuild the infrastructure and otherwise better the lives of Iraqi citizens. It was a truly rewarding experience for her.

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I sensed that many of the Iraqis were glad to have our presence, she explains. The military mission created jobs, improved the infrastructure, helped to restore electricity, and built hospitals and schools. More importantly, Iraqis now have the freedom to live as they choose and make decisions for their families, without the dictatorship they previously experienced over the past 30 years.

Shortly after her return to the States, Cross was offered a year-long assignment with the U.S. Army Contracting Command-Southwest Asia (USACC-SWA) and the Area Support Group-Kuwait (ASG-KU). She is now part of a support team assisting the military operations and units in the Middle East, including Iraq, Afghanistan, and other locations. ASG-KU provides supplies, equipment maintenance and repair, staging and logistics support for these military operations.

Although Cross has made the commitment to one year s service in Kuwait, her assignment may be extended for up to five years. With a career that requires travel and flexibility, it s easy to see that a traditional graduate program was next to impossible for her. Yet she still desired the credibility and professional status that a degree would afford her. I am gaining experience to prepare me for challenging assignments and complex procurements involved in defense contracting, says Cross. A degree sets the stage for everything that follows.

The Master s certificate program in Acquisition and Contracting includes courses such as Business Development & Proposal Preparation, Government Contract Law, and Risk Analysis and Management. It is geared toward students who wish to obtain not only an in-depth knowledge of acquisition, contracting and procurement processes, but also how these processes are interconnected with standard business management processes such as finance, marketing, law, and operations.

American Graduate University has a rolling admissions policy, which means that students can begin their studies any day of the year, and can take as long as they need to complete their education. Ideal for self-directed, self-motivated individuals who are also balancing career, family, and the pressures of everyday life, classes at AGU are text-based and web-enabled there are no artificial deadlines or demands.

The Acquisition and Contracting Master s Certificate program, like all of the degree and certificate programs at AGU, has an emphasis on experiential learning and real-world applicability. The knowledge and skills that students gain are directly related to, and influenced by, their day-to-day experience in the working world. Wanda Cross can attest to this. She says that the education she s receiving at AGU has had an immediate impact on the work she does in Kuwait. In fact, I brought my books from previous courses with me, and I refer to them often, she explains. The AGU courses supplement my experience and make me well-rounded in various types of procurements.

Asked about the work she s doing, and the message she wants to convey to her fellow Americans back home, Cross says, The war on terror is real and it is a world challenge. We all must stay vigilant at home and abroad, and support our troops, who put their lives on the line every minute to protect the freedoms that we enjoy in the USA. Yet her time abroad has shown Cross that, despite outward differences in ideology or customs, people the world over share fundamental similarities. The world must continue in prayer for world peace and unity among all countries, she adds.

As much as she enjoys her present assignment and its many challenges, Cross is looking forward to her return home. I plan to spend time with family and continue working in the Army contracting field, she says of her plans for the future. With the invaluable experience she gained in the Middle East, and the education she has earned from American Graduate University, it s certain that Wanda Cross will find success in that field.

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About The Author Nicole Lehner For more information about AGU, visit: http://agu.searchforclasses.com. Visit http://www.searchforclasses.com for other online education choices. Our blog http://searchforclasses.blogspot.com/ is a great resource for articles and tips.

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